Who’s Smarter?

My husband amazes me! He is the kind of person who can self teach himself anything he sets his mind to. He is brilliant, wise and patient. He told me once that his father gave him this advice when he was young; “Brian, if you don’t know how to do something and someone asks you, if you can, you say you can do it and then go learn how to do it…Never run away from a challenge”. I guess this is his motto. There isn’t much he cannot do (apart from cleaning or cooking and…well, we won’t go there).

There was a time when the brakes were bad in our car and we were short on cash tyo have them repaired. He thought he could figure out how to fix the brakes, and so he got a manual, and sure enough in about an hour our brakes were fixed. To this day, he still fixes our brakes when they go out. Another time, we needed to lay carpet at his dad’s house and he asked his uncle to come show him how, he laid the carpet in the entire house and later on did the same at an apartment we lived in for a while. He’s learned to lay floor tiles, he’s self taught himself how to play just about every musical instrument there is, he’s taught himself everything there is to know about computers and web design. He now owns his own business as a web consultant. He’s a minister, an administrator, oh and a pilot!

Sickening! How can someone be that smart?

You know that felling you get in the gut of your stomach when you have stayed up all night studying for a test only to receive a low C, and then here comes the smart guy who didn’t even cracked the book open and he gets a perfect score in record time? I’m there! Is not easy being married to Bill Gates!

I’ve learn that I could easily allow myself to get resentful, jealous or become defiantly competitive rather than grateful that I should be so lucky to be with him. Imagine that! The man I consider to be the smartest person alive (at least in my world) chose to be with me. Amazing! He’s not aware of how brilliant he is though, so don’t get the wrong impression. He doesn’t go around the house flaunting his award winning ideas or purposely making me feel the size of a pea. There isn’t a streak of mean in him and the best part is he worships me unabashedly. He may forget to open the car door for me, and he doesn’t usually gas up my car (to my utter dismay), but he adores me and I have no doubt about it.

Sometimes I do get annoyed with his quick learning skills and his insatiable desire to learn new things. But in all reality, I want him to be successful in all he does, because he never discourages me to pursue my own dreams. I hear of married women who struggle to see their partner shine. If their partner gets ahead, they somehow feel left behind. I don’t know why this is. I would venture to say, it has something to do with personal unresolved issues. But whatever the reason, this could truncate the growth of any relationship. If we are not willing to see that man who is our friend and lover succeed, this will reflect badly on us.

I remember when I was a young girl, my parents used to give me this word of advice; “remember, you are who you hang around with”. That bothered me so much, because some of my friends were overweight, promiscuous, gossipers, and ugly! I didn’t want to be either, so I was picky in choosing whom I allowed to be a close friend. That mentality followed me into my marriage.

I am an extension of the one I’ve chosen to spend my life with; therefore, I am elated that he is gifted, as I live under his covering. But this realization didn’t come to me easily. As a matter of fact, it was but only 6 years ago my eyes were opened. My husband’s father had just passed away after battling brain cancer for some years. While we were in Washington State for the funeral, my mother-in-law gave my husband two guitars his father left for him. My husband had never played a guitar in his life, but immediately began to pick at them and teach himself to play. Within weeks, he was playing the guitars like a pro.

I was annoyed!

For weeks all he wanted to do was play the guitars and I couldn’t understand how in the world he could learn so quickly. I wondered if he was trying to show off…but I knew better. On this particular day, I was stressing over a project I was working on. There was so much I had to do and unlike other people, I had to work extra hard to accomplish what I wanted with this specific project. I felt like I was going to lose it, so I went to my bedroom thinking I would take a time out and just lie down and not think about anything for a while.

When I went in the bedroom, my husband was seating at the edge of the bed, playing his guitar quietly. I don’t remember what song he was playing but it was beautiful and soothing. I just sat next to him and lay my head on his shoulder. He smiled and continued playing. After playing for a while, he asked me if I wanted to sing along. I declined. I just wanted to sit still and listen. It was so beautiful… That was it!

That was the day I became his biggest fan.

I understood then that his gifting is there for my enjoyment just as much as for his. I learned to appreciate what I’ve been given, which in many ways makes my life here bearable and the journey so much more enjoyable. These days, I involve myself in all areas of his gifting. I enjoy accompanying him on some of his flights, I listen to beautiful music he’s composed, and I love watching him speak in front of a crowd because he always looks at me seeking my approval.

Funny how that works!

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